Madeline Boynton's Blog - The Chains He Broke

At the beginning of my journey, I talked about the Crowning Jewels cards I received. I had ordered two pieces of jewelry from their Heaven Inspired collection over a month before I signed up for the mission trip, and was blown away by both of them. I received them the very day I committed, and they were the exact reassurance and confirmation I needed to know that God had called me here.

I shared the first one about a month ago and said I would share the second one “soon.” Well… I feel like now is the right time!

You may remember the first card. It talked about how God had chosen me for the work I didn’t feel qualified for (one of the biggest fears that had been holding me back from committing) and reminded me not to let fear or insecurity keep me from the mission. I read it with my jaw on the floor. It was… very specific.

Then I flipped over the next card. This one spoke to another insecurity. It said:

“The Lord is ushering in a season of divine community and deep connection. The people He is surrounding you with will not be accidental—they will be marked by shared hunger, mutual strengthening, and genuine love. God is healing the places where isolation, disappointment, and mistrust once made you want to withdraw, and He is reminding you that you were created to walk alongside others. He is building something deep within you and around you—walk by faith and embrace the new thing!”

For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with social anxiety. I struggled to make friends, and the friends I did make, I struggled to keep. I would overthink every word, every glance, and every text. Eventually, I learned that the easiest way to quiet my mind was to avoid talking altogether.

Over time, the anxiety became so overwhelming that I convinced myself I didn’t want or need friends. I was better off without them because it wasn’t worth the mental havoc that followed. I remember one year at my co-op, I would take my lunch into the bathroom just to avoid the shame of eating alone or the possibility of having to talk to others. But deep down, that wasn’t true.

Even though I had convinced myself I didn’t want friends, there was always a part of me that craved community; especially a Christian community that would encourage one another and grow together in Christ. I constantly wondered what was wrong with me. Why did I never seem to fit in anywhere? I could be friendly with people, but friendships rarely went deeper than acquaintances. Most social interactions ended with me overthinking every detail until I spiraled into anxiety attacks.

The enemy fed off of that for years, and I isolated myself because it felt safer.

Near the end of 2020, after I rededicated my life to Christ, something began to change. I started longing for the kind of community God designed us to have. It has been a multi-year journey of fighting against the urge to isolate myself and trusting the Lord one step at a time.

Last year, I decided to intentionally step out of my comfort zone. I joined Bible studies, said yes to opportunities I normally would have avoided, and became more intentional about building friendships. It has been hard, exhausting, and sometimes frustrating, but seeing the fruit the Lord produces when we follow His lead has been so worth it.

The girls from my Bible study have quickly become some of my closest friends, and I couldn’t be more grateful for this little community! And now, I’m stepping into an environment where not only will I be forced to socialize..I’ll literally be living with other young adults for 11 months. Five years ago, that thought would have sent me spiraling. But now it doesn’t.

I'm not saying I'm not nervous; Satan has definitely tried to stir up those old anxieties to distract or discourage me. But he forgets that Jesus has already set me free. That's the difference. I know my identity as a daughter of the Most High. Fully known and deeply loved by the One who created me. I’m no longer chained by fear or overthinking. This card was exactly the reassurance I needed that the Lord has orchestrated all of this and that this new season is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Instead of dread, I’m excited. Excited to meet the people I’ll be serving alongside. Excited to see the friendships God has already prepared. Excited to watch Him continue the work He has been doing in my heart for years.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10